Female menopause is a terrifying word for both the wife and the husband if they are not prepared for it. It is terrifying for the woman because she feels all of a sudden totally out of control with wild mood swings, depression bouts, hot flashes and night sweats; all of a sudden it looks like her body has gone into mutiny against her and she does not have a clue as to what to do.
It is terrifying for him (and the children if there any) because he loves his wife, and he understands that she must be going through a terrible phase; but he is not able to understand why she gets angry at the drop of a hat, why she cries at the drop of a hat, and why she stops communicating freely anymore.
Both find it difficult to cope through the phase of female menopause. However, if they get educated on what it is supposed to be, what is to be expected, and what the best ways out are, a lot of grief can be avoided. Sometimes you can even save a marriage from breaking up. What can a man do to help?
Genuinely lend her your ears:
She needs to talk with someone about the things that happen to her everyday. She needs to be re-assured that she is not loosing her mind, her attractiveness, her identity to this monster which looks like it is taking over her body. The least you can do is listen to her patiently and sympathetically. Listening attentively is perhaps the best gift a husband can give his wife anytime; it is priceless during the onset of female menopause.
Understand and accept her mood swings:
She is indeed as baffled as you are with the mood swings she is having. She is not making it up and she is not being difficult. The mood swings are real. Try to be part of the solution, and be with her when she is sad or happy and try to help her make sense out of the chaos that she is going though.
Be there truly in body and in spirit:
There might not be a time when she would need you to validate her feelings as much as she needs it during the female menopause stage. If you manage to hang on there for her, you would really be able to offer her invaluable help. Never say, that her feelings are imaginary and “get a grip on yourself” because she is actually helpless.
A few steps in understanding her at this difficult time will go a long way in cementing the marriage, and you will have the satisfaction of helping your spouse in one of he most difficult phases of her life.